Did You Know?

Telling someone to "calm down" is actually counter intuative and is very invalidating.

          Becoming calm is the goal, but just saying "calm down" doesn’t offer any tangible way to get there. And when someone is hyperventilating or feeling like they are going to crawl outside their skin, telling them to just calm down sounds like a cruel joke. If they could just “calm” down, they would. Do they have specific tools to help them reach a calmer state? Absolutely, but it takes a series of steps to get there and an anxiety attack is not something that can go away by just telling oneself to calm down. 

          Anxiety and panic disorders can completely overwhelm both our body and mind. All too often, people struggling with anxiety exacerbate anxious episodes by being cruel to themselves in their head. “Get it together!” we scream at ourselves. “Calm down!” But none of these thoughts are helpful. The people that love us want to help, but they may parrot these very same thoughts because they don’t know any better. It is only through an open, authentic and vulnerable dialogue that can we help create conversations that support and lift up anxiety sufferers while deepening the very relationships that help sustain us through our dark and anxious times. The world can be a scary place for those with anxiety, but by making an effort to understand our struggle, you can become their safe harbor during the storms of their anxious episodes.

Living with mental health is not a choice. It's not something that will ever go away or get a cure for. People living with mental health work hard everyday to just get out of bed and live. 

          Mental illness is not, never has been, and never will be a choice. In the same way that no one would wake up one day and choose to have cancer or diabetes, no one would wake up and decide they wanted to be depressed, anxious, bipolar, schizophrenic, suffer from an eating disorder, or insert your “choice” of mental illness here. I think the reason people get this so confused sometimes is because mental illness does come with a choice. You are not wrong there. Where the wrong comes in is where the choice resides. One can not simply choose to be or not to be sick, one can not choose to simply snap there fingers and make it all go away. But, what one can choose is the choice of recovery. At any second of any day, all of us who suffer from any form of mental illness have the power to decide we are no longer going to live as slaves to these horrid diseases. Choosing recovery doesn’t necessarily mean you will be cured, or never struggle again, but what it does mean is that you are making the conscious decision to fight. To not be a victim. To walk in the light of life, instead of in the shadows of darkness of death.

Be causious with they way you phrase and use 'mental health' terms and names. 

          There are generally two reasons for eliminating mental illness terms from your common everday vocabulary. One is that they're plain offensive; the other is that using them in an inaccurate way spreads misinformation and creates misconceptions about a condition's seriousness. Many individuals with mental illneses choose to suffer alone and in silence rather than risk the shame and humiliation of being labeled mentally ill, “crazy,” or worse. Words are powerful. They matter. Those with mental illness and their families will attest to the everyday struggles that come with their condition. By simply focusing our attention and extending our compassion in a realistic and constructive way, we can help to address the facts and truths of mental illness.